Remember not too long ago when the thing to do was be healthy, buy organic, go vegetarian? Well apparently that was a joke because the “thing” is now bacon. Bacon Vodka, bacon peanut brittle, bacon jelly beans, bacon gumballs, bacon wallets, bacon lampshades, bacon bras. It does not stop there and trust me it does not stop getting increasingly ridiculous. At first I thought this was a joke, a big practical joke on the average weight of Americans, and then it happened, the moment I realized this was all too real. I went to the grocery store searching for white chocolate to bake with. I found a wall of chocolate and figured this was where I would be finding my loot. But no. They had 7 varieties of bacon chocolate and no white chocolate. Now I am completely aware that NO ONE likes white chocolate, but are you really trying to tell me that there are more people who like bacon chocolate, than who like white chocolate? I was horrified.

There are some bacon products I can kind of understand (I will never completely understand bacon products):

• Bacon Mayonnaise: you can use this on BLT’s,… well that’s the only thing that could legitimize bacon mayonnaise
• Wrapping other things in bacon: I think this may be the culprit for making everyone crazy for bacon. My favorite recipe at Parties That Cook is the Bacon-Wrapped Prune/Persimmon with Blue Cheese and Honey-Balsamic Glaze. Another feature on the internet was bacon-wrapped hot dogs.

Ok the list ends there.

On to the list of bacon products that shouldn’t exist, because we all know these are the only reason we search the internet for bacon products:

• Bacon bra, enough said.
• Bacon flavored envelopes. The creators have this to say: “Technology has given us a lot lately. The car. TV. X-rays. The refrigerator. The Internet. Heck, we even cured polio. But what have our envelopes tasted like for the last 4,000 years? Armpit, that’s what.” I have a whole slew of things that I would place above flavored envelopes on the priority list, apparently that’s just me.
• Bacon candy (lollipops, jelly beans), baked goods, and ice cream (I love you Humphry Slocombe but I won’t be trying this new flavor).
• Bacon cake – an article online speaks of a woman who ordered a bacon wedding cake because it was her husband’s favorite thing other than her. Congratulations to him for finding the only woman on the face of the earth who would sacrifice her wedding day for his unreasonable obsession with bacon.
• Bacon soap – I guess I’ll know when I meet the people who bought this product.

The bacon fad is hilarious for a nice rainy day internet search. Some of my favorites were the Mr. Bacon vs. Monsieur Tofu action figures, St. Anthony – the patron saint of bacon, the “I Love Meat” sticker collection, along with many more. There are plenty of people who are plenty passionate about bacon and love these new bacon products, and power to you, because it looks as though EVERYTHING is being produced with a big fat injection of bacon. I, myself, will be using the bacon fad as amusement on a day when facebook activity is slow.

I will provide you with a DELICOUS bacon-included recipe in hopes that someday you will join me away from the dark side:

BACON-WRAPPED DRIED PLUMS WITH BLUE CHEESE
AND BALSAMIC-HONEY GLAZE

Plums:

9 ounces of thinly-sliced bacon, cut in half

2 ounces soft blue cheese

3 ounces cream cheese

½ teaspoon fresh thyme leaves

Pinch of kosher salt

24 pitted dried plums (prunes)

Balsamic Glaze:

½ cup balsamic

1 ½ Tablespoons honey

Preheat oven to 350ºF.

Bacon: Lay the cut bacon on a cooling rack over a sheet pan. Transfer to the oven and partially cook the bacon (only 5 minutes).

Make Stuffing: Using a hand mixer or fork, mix the blue cheese and cream cheese together. Add the thyme and salt. Chill in freezer for 5 minutes.

Stuff Prunes: Using a pastry bag fitted with ¼-inch tip, stuff each prune with 1 teaspoon of the cheese mixture. Wrap with a piece of partially cooked bacon and fasten with a toothpick.

Broil: Place on a baking pan and broil on one side until the bacon starts to brown (about 2-3 minutes). Turn and finish cooking until the bacon is crisp (another 2-3 minutes). If left too long under the broiler, the cheese will melt and ooze out. Transfer to a platter, garnish platter with a few sprigs of thyme.

Balsamic Glaze: Combine balsamic and honey in a sauté pan and simmer/reduce for 2 minutes. Drizzle or brush over plated prunes.